I Don't Understand My Fellow Americans...

I guess I’ve got to hand it to Biden, but I haven’t felt so left out of a phenomenon since I read “Becoming” last year and it left me disappointed.  I generally like to read about people’s lives and Michelle’s was not an exception, however the parts about “going high” and education being the things that save people seemed like a tough sell sitting in my shoebox condo and talking to a social worker who hit me with that whole “Goodness, such big words from a little girl”-type trip.(Having fifty-seven words for how screwed you are does not seem like an asset at the best of times, really, and these have not been the best of times.)

I think EW deserves better, but not in that “curses…rigged!!” type way, more that I wish we lived in a culture that respected women’s awesomeness more. I can definitely picture a world where she had the winning message(this may be my favorite part about politics, really, aside from the times when it’s encouraged that you scream.) Not that a Senate seat in Massachusetts is some kind of chick-job consolation price or anything like that.(While we’re here, a word about a Warren primary…I hated the thought as a hashtag, both because the timing was terrible in re repairing whatever divides exist between Sanders and Warren folks, and because I don’t think primaries should be viewed as a punishment, but rather a chance to showcase the range of thought in the party and stuff like that.Yes, I know they are often viewed as “a harsh rebuke” by the kind of hacky journalist salivating to write about how Biden and Trump “traded barbs”, thereby causing me to wonder how late in the summer I’ll contemplate popping one of my eardrums to avoid hearing the sloppy “trade”. If someone came along that checked some more of my policy boxes, I’d give them a look, I think, but I like Warren.

As for me, kind of disappointed today.  Really started to think that our coalition had gone from fudge ripple to swirl…I think some leftist candidate will get it there fully one day, and maybe it won’t be that long, but it seems long to me right now(Also, on some things, like climate, that Biden’s not too great about…we really don’t have forever.)I’m not dropping out of anything…will fight the primary out, then, if Biden’s it, work to get him elected(a little, at least…maybe will concentrate on house or senate seats and leave Biden to folks with actual passion for his project0) and then protest him or something, probably…maybe he will pick a running mate that generates a more enthusiastic response, or maybe in six months it will seem like the height of luxury to only wish the President would shut up one day a week instead of every day.(I really want more, someday, which is not the same as “money for nothing and a pony” I don’t think.  

Many of my problems with Biden probably aren’t as much with actual Biden(although I do find him slow to adapt and kind of rough on “the yutes” for no good reason, as well as not as funny as he thinks he is, but at least he’s not Bloomberg) as the media creation of Regular Joe, The Worker Whisperer, who speaks to people making under 50k in their native dialect. I was insulted by that before people in the party and the media decided they needed a backstop against people like…me. Ok, people like John Heilemann, you might well have gotten a reprieve, but one day, climate willing, you’ll have to deal with those meddling kids(and me, I guess as their weird single friend)

Some Thoughts On Why I'm No Longer A Centrist...

If I had written this blog  twenty(or even ten) years ago, it would have been very different.I really believed that “working hard and playing by the rules” was going to be my ticket, despite lousy access, a benefits system that is less like a dignified reward than “Hotel California”, prospective employers and editors who liked me better when they heard my voice on the phone than when they see me, and I could go on. (For the record, I’m still grateful it’s there, and I will resist any attempts, whether Republican or Democratic, to undermine its value…just kind of think it’s a poor trade for my whole life.) I think the center matters less to those of us, who, like Snot Boogie, have to steal our way in to get to play.The Obama years felt good to me, but only a few of the reforms touched my life.(I think, whoever the next President is, I need to be determined not to be fannish of him or her) I’m an activist and need to keep policy at the forefront, although the hero-worship thing was fun for a while, not gonna lie.

Socialism gives me hope and a team to play for.(Maybe any hope for a middle-aged disabled woman is largely bullshit), but since I’ve been denied the future of being some kind of adapted trend-piece media chick, I will say considering disability as part of the working-class struggle has helped me feel less marooned and alone and paradoxically less like a failure when I can’t solve all my problems. 

There are powerful systems in play that keep power in the hands of the same people so maybe I’m not going to break through by myself, but maybe we could do it together. Like all stereotypes, there is a kernel of truth in the idea that youth want a lot.(Not so sure about the ponies.) America used to be a place people used to go in search of a better life, but it seems like the moderate vision is, you know,” We’re The Greatest Country In The World That Can’t Do Shit”(exciting stuff, eh?) They want a lot, but I don’t think the list is out of line…yes I know, I don’t have much, and some short-sighted individuals would say I didn’t earn it either.(If you would say that you don’t know what a drag our benefits system is…not working is a lot of work sometimes.)

Bohemian Crip Learns Eco-socialism...

 Last night, I joined approximately 100 activists from DSA chapters around the country to learn about promoting the #GreenNewDeal.(I used both green and red pens to take notes...very festive.) The socialist pitch for the #GND isn't all that different than that which I've heard before, except slightly more focused on corporate exploitation(Which makes sense, I suppose) As I write this, Bernie Sanders is having a Moment, which eco-socialists hope to use to bring, especially his young supporters, into the fold for more climate work.

I learned the expression "energy democracy" which I thought would refer to making utilities publicly owned(and might, eventually, in some places) but refers more broadly to the idea that everyone, whether or not they are homeowners that can put solar panels on their houses, has some stake in our energy future. Going forward, the goal is community based activism, even in poorer communities.

Funny moment when I heard climate book "A Planet To Win" as "A Plan to Win" and ended up sorting through what seemed like a million business books and motivational books by coaches, etc...trying to find the right one again.(Will be reading shortly and will let you know what I think.)

What's Eating America, Part One...

I watched chef and food broadcaster Andrew Zimmern trace the path of food from field to table Sunday.  Basically, it showed that even domestically-grown food owes a lot to people on work visas(of which there aren't enough) Even Trump Tower has a foreign-born chef(according to the research on this broadcast 640,000 chefs were born outside the US.  It is inspiring to see them come together in some places to fight for more immigrant rights and to end family detention.
Less inspiring was further confirmation of the array of exploitations of the  US upon the Marshall Islands(Famous to Arizonans like me because of the adoption-ring scandal)

A fictional "out-take" from a writing prompt book...

Not sure if I'll ever use this, cause I'm not sure how long I'm  going to follow these people. The prompt was "What would you put in storage?"

Spring 2005

 In those days, Chitra saved everything.  Not like the hoarders of later television infamy, but she did enjoy being surrounded by books, family photos, and the occasional bedraggled member of her stuffed animal menagerie.  Add to this, though, indulgent parents who saw the possibility of genius in every science project, and Chitra was leaving her twenties and coming into a new relationship with plenty of evidence of former lives in boxes and bags all around her.She is forcing herself to be ruthless… Gerry’s place is bigger, sort of a gift to himself for his recent city council win, but it’s still not big enough for all of her leftover lives. She tosses t-shirts from high school and half-finished art, but she has not rid herself of her mental baggage,including disappointment that her candidate in the council race lost, and a melting but persistent certainty that she couldn’t imagine herself with the name “Chitra Poindexter”. She opened a box of paperbacks, not so much just books for her teenaged self as dreams in paper covers. She rifled some pages, and as they fluttered against her hand, she marveled at the time she used to have to imagine things.Time, to read and daydream, like sleep, full meals, and volunteers, is one of the things political people learn to live without. It was hard not to burrow into some of her old favorites all the same, but she just read the back covers and put them in the Donate bag.

Will Our Debt To The Second Wave Ever Be Square?

(I'm not sure we in subsequent generations could ever zero it out...they did make that much change. But maybe we could get some kind of forgiveness, as a struggling nation...after all, her gen promised us better healthcare and universal childcare and men doing half at home and never delivered on it.)

I think Rashida Tlaib had the right to boo, but that every right does not constitute an obligation. I wish she hadn't, right? She lets her feelings get the better of her sometimes.

But the reason why I'm still thinking about that is all the commenters who wrote "She owes HRC so much!"(And I suppose that's true, as do I owe women in the Second Wave age range, specifically my own mother, whose contributions to feminism are more private, maybe because she has to help me make my contributions to feminism.) Thank you, again, right?(Not trying to be snarky, here)
But the "ungrateful brat" thing made more sense when we were all twenty years old and thinking we could subdue sexism with the right lyrics, lip gloss and force of personality(Even that is something of a thumbnail, but does anybody really think that now?)
It's hard for me, the gratitude thing.   As a disabled woman, I'm expected to be so grateful, it can be hard to know how much I deserve and how much credit to give myself.(as I've written before, I was Representative Tlaib's age when I finally got a social worker to stop calling me "young lady", you know?) Yes, Congresswomen need to act like leaders and set a tone, but is focus -group doublespeak the best we can do? I hope not.