I don't mean this in the full, literal sense...

 But, I'm angry, I'm working-class...where's *my* insurrection?

(I'm disabled.  I just get gratitude urged on me like the fifth food group. Sometimes I can't decide if that's our *problem*, in that whole "Lean in! Take up space!" kind of sense, or if the young guys' problems come from being rapacious and not learning to accept things. It depends on the day.) Maybe if we, as a group, could actually get more out of life, then our culture could stop being Mom at your first group birthday party. "Sweetie, don't forget to say "Thank you for having us!" etc. Also, my college education was kind of the least glamourous thing to happen to a woman ever...could we be careful about our use of the word  "elitism" please?  All right, maybe I kind of *wanted* a bite at a fancier apple--that doesn't mean I really got it, and I suspect I'm not alone.

The only thing I need to see less than Cheeto Benito's gloating mug is Joe Biden being  Gracious and Unbowed In The Face Of Tragedy(again) as he tells That Fucking Guy how to jiggle the toilets in the residence.

Meanwhile, if Trump doesn't, say, whip it out or moon someone during that little confab, one of those so-smart-they're-kind-of-stupid scribes like Milbank or Cilizza will write some bullshit like:

In The Second Term, Opening With A New Gravitas.(God, spare me)

There's More I Could Say...

 and, maybe, I will, though I don't think anyone reads me thinking "Ooh, hot takes!"
But I just don't believe we have to do this shit again...(Boy, have I thought that a lot of times in ten years.)

I'm disgusted, and kind of find the much-vaunted Soul of America...well, gross, at this particular instant.

Finished Streaming...

UnReal  and I loved it. (Not only because I don't especially love reality shows, although I don't,at least not the competitive ones) The characterizations and performances are really good...a terrific balance between  that "tragic inevitability" thing beloved by tragedians and little glimpses of possibility where you could imagine the crew of Everlasting making better decisions. It's interesting to see some critiques of the whole #ladyboss mindset that don't try to turn the clock back and send women all the way back home.  Rachel(and Quinn, the devil on Dana Gordon's shoulder, (now that it isn't Ari Gold, I should say,played with a kind of jaded relish by Constance Zimmer,) may find their playful sides or peace of mind(could almost write "piece"---there's lots of sexual situations on this show) in the arms of their guy of the moment, but the show never implies that they are any kind of permanent rescue or solace. It's plainly a story about women and mentoring, and the damage the wrong kind of examples and cultural messages can do.While the on-screen contestants play out the bright fairy tale onscreen, the "Everlasting" production team wanders through the creepy forest. I had seen Shiri Appleby either as a teen, or at twenty playing teenaged on some show about a foster child that was trying to gather "Party of Five's" sloppy seconds at one point, but she was the best thing about the show, even after her character slept with her math teacher.  Rachel is a very multifaceted character who makes you root for her even if she is being a shit. She might count as mental-health disability representation, too but I'm not quite sure about that.

Although I am impressed that the writers did manage, as the seasons went on, to make loutish producer Chet(played with multiple layers by Craig Bierko) at least occasionally sympathetic.. Many a feminist might start out hating Chet, but I came to find him at least as confused and manipulated as Rachel. 

Editor's note:
I made some changes to this.  Spotted a typo and finished some thoughts that didn't fully make it to the page yesterday...if it's just a little, I don't say anything, but mentioning it seemed like a thing to do this time.

Somehow, I have to invest...

 in *my* work, because being the wind beneath somebody else's wings is a mixed bag at best. But I don't really do things that people can *watch* in a stretch-goal sense.

I Can Shoot A Three If I Want...

 Promoting something for work...if the spirit moves you, vote or share.(Vote and Share, if you're in Cali)

California Leavin'(Yes on 33)

Thoughts on Knife...

 

Maybe I never felt smart enough to read Salman Rushdie, at length at least.(When the news of the fatwa reached Arizona, I did try to read that, in my teenaged quest for quiet rule breaking…most of the culture behind it escaped my knowledge, but the works-on-multiple-levels sort of wordplay in the literally heavy book did hit on at least some of the levels, sometimes. Rushdie is a witty writer, even when we don’t get the full joke.

 But if this blog truly has a job, I wouldn’t feel like I did it if I didn’t read and make notes on “Knife” since there is so much inside it that has also been here, in a halting way: crime, disability/recovery, and writing. I admired when on page 63 Rushdie wrote that he wanted his attacker, known in the book as  A, to “look me in my one eye, and tell me the truth.” Because everything the young man did say seemed so painfully inadequate. A. might have been radicalized by Islamic-fundamentalist You-tube videos.   Rushdie writes that he might not have been there if his airconditioner hadn’t gone out, if his newly-married life hadn’t hit such a high, and, of course, if he hadn’t written a book in “Satanic Verses” that had become That Book for so many. (His assailant barely knew about that, it should be noted, but that kind of notoriety does appear to leave a trail.) It’s hard to read that and not fall back into that perversely-comforting true-crime trap, that in some ways, might be part of the real draw for some of us: Suddenly, instead of a lonely-and-broke Saturday night(again), it seems suddenly perceptive not to have a date for six years, forcing  The Friday’s Killer to look elsewhere for his yummy treats.

Surviving provides Rushdie a different sort of irony in providing the nearly-miraculous to a skeptical atheist.Another surprising thing he writes about is the sense of personal rejection he felt during the years of the fatwa and that he never expected, even as a free-speech crusader, that his reputation might take such a turn.   I suppose I thought that maybe he wrote all of Satanic Verses thinking, maybe, “That’ll show ‘em,”(if maybe not so much that a head of state of a “brutal regime” might take notice and turn his full powers against him.) but he says now that he did not.  Although he’s been through a lot of things that could be humbling as hell.  It might be hard to recapture what composition was really like.

In addition to writing, and a body that’s not regulation—though I don’t remember my initial trauma, the author and I share guilt and loss about surviving so many friends and associates. It’s hard, though Rushdie says it better than I just did.

As One of The Palest "Living Single" Fans,

 This was a cool bit of news.Research proves that Maxine Shaw, the brave and endearingly voracious "attorney at law" from the sitcom has inspired enough Black women professionals to inspire a curriculum.

Who says TV can't teach you anything?

An Editor's Note...

 

_Getting this in, before I have tech support tomorrow. Feels much longer since I’ve written, but in Election Time every day feel like a week. I did a little bit to GOTV in now-swing-state Arizona, but these days my job is to keep activists motivated, not working with newbies…it’s a bit less romantic.

_Trying out expensive  yellow nail polish to see if it lasts longer.  More later, if events warrant.

-Even though I find Tina Fey’s approach to comedy a bit broad and cartoonish compared to my comedy sweet spot(except maybe “Mean Girls”, which brings back an occasional memory), I do occasionally relate to Kimmy Schmidt.   Maybe because I’m “alive, damn it,” for another year.

Crossposted...

 Wrote my first personal essay that wasn't an op-ed in a long time...put a sample up in DW.

sample from my essay

Thoughts on Cori Bush's "The Frontrunner"

Cori Bush has seen a lot of life.  Especially, the tough side, which makes her recent primary loss kind of a tough blow for working-class people that don't get much representation in Congress as it currently stands(and I'd think that even if her giving a shoutout at the end of her book to "people with disabilities, denied access" wasn't so novel as to be practically revolutionary in political memoir. Ordinary people need to be able to run for office so that we have a chance at a government not slanted toward the interests of the wealthy and powerful.

Most political memoirs are cleaner(Always showing the candidate as born making the right decisions, although she did stand up for Palestinians before a lot of people would, and if I had bought this book when it came out instead of this year, I might have found the connection of Gaza and police violence in places like Ferguson to be a bold claim indeed). Sad that it took further atrocities to "make it make sense"

Most memoirs of successful women do not share them struggling to break away from controlling and abusive partners. Given how much Americans like happy talk, I bet someone asked her to cut some of those things but I'm glad she didn't, although it did sometimes make for a harrowing read, especially compared to housing policy or The Green New Deal and the like. Even though the things she survived aren't the same as what I have survived, maybe it's still good to keep in mind that not every effective person is following some path she laid down at 22.

A Poem, Since I haven't Posted In A While

 

Adaptive Nighttime Ruminations

After a long day of disabled life,

There should be greater solace

Than looking at the ceiling

And reminding myself that Taylor Swift

Gets morning breath and pit stains.

Mine has been an unfinished miracle.

I’d like to be born again,

Maybe live as a gal who could win.

Instead of half-finished and waiting

For a chance that wasn’t  fresh when I

Might have gotten it, and now might just

Crumble like a dead leaf

In my barely-used ornamental hands.

I’ve had time for my friends to get divorced,

For not getting married “until *everybody* can!1” to

Go from a dare to a decision to one of the thousands of rights that

My email fears could disappear every morning.

With my own  status as Rookie of Some Other Year

(past or future…does it matter? Pretty soon looking forward will hurt like looking back)

Largely unchanged