My Mother Hates "Shameless", But It's What I Need Right Now

 Mom wanted to raise a middle-class child.(Although she doesn't really love it when I act like that, so I don't really know what that's about.)She doesn't really understand why I like urban dramas like "The Wire" but I think that having urban grit encroach on the family...dramedy makes it more personal for Mom, who grew up gritty.

(I will say that the rambunctious Gallagher clan does...live out loud, and the production design goes all out giving them a scruffy house with more people than room...it's not often outside of a documentary that I get the urge to bleach a character's toilet.)

In these difficult times, I find it hard to find pleasure in things I watch. It can be too easy to hide out in the past, but sometimes  I want something challenging.I appreciate that there is little that is "aspirational" in what I see in the Gallaghers' working-class nabe, though they do survive obstacles that might bring real-life counterparts to their knees.(Emmy Rossum's Fiona is my hero, and who I'd mostly would like to be. Also, if I'd met a Lip in high school, I think I wouldn't have gotten perfect attendance.)

If I Made This Up, I'd Make Myself Prettier...

 My mother has been running all over all morning because of a phone call. Three months ago, we arranged a call to make up for the quarterly home visit the pandemic has made impossible(a rare bonus)

Phone calls are easier. Until planned maintenance on internet in your area goes badly, and that handy bundle knocks out your phones.  we didn't have a current name for someone at the state, either.(They prefer talking to my mother anyway, which embarrasses me more than a tad for being someone with new laugh lines who still needs that Mother from Hell energy.#WorstOfAllWorlds)

So, basically, we are arranging a call to arrange call to say that we don't need anything else.

is this where my creativity goes? Hopefully not, I've got submissions and a runoff election coming up.

UPDATE:

We are done with state for another three months.  Sometimes I think getting that funding is the closest I get to feeling like Melania Trump.  I just want the funding, you know?

BOOK Review: Maybe The Moon by ARmistead Maupin...

 

Cadence Roth(Cady to her friends)is an actress hoping to recapture her first taste of fame. She is writing a journal as an inspiration for a one-woman show, and she is a patient roommate.  She is also one of the smallest mobile human beings in North America, which is one of the biggest tensions in Armistead Maupin’s sweet-natured novel “Maybe the Moon”(I intended to blog about this book a while ago, but things got intense news-wise or something and it seemed saccharine and a bit unserious. It is something of a downmarket Hollywood fable, but anything that takes up time in a good way during these times is to be appreciated if not celebrated outright. 

As much as I still hold out hope for #ownvoices writing, I will say that Maupin does a good job of making Cady both funny and spunky but a character with lots of sides, who feels born uder a ticking clock because of the complications of dwarfism, but is determined to have a good ride.(A note on the end of the novel says that Maupin based the character on a friend of his)

At this rate, my next book will be a trilogy...

 because I write on it when I am upset.

here's a sample....

crossed my fingers on my left hand, as I did it wondering if I could get them uncrossed.  “I’ll take that under advisement.”If it came down to it, I’d pretend it was an accident that we’d gotten disconnected. Suddenly, it seemed providential that I’d gotten a discount on a van with two tiedown slots because, if I recalled correctly, its white surface held a mark that looked like a shoeprint across it(It came out after weeks of careful scrubbing, carefully attended by many of the men in my condo complex because they were fascinated by watching the lift work and the belts tying my chair back.The man that made my heart flutter the most was soon at the end of the line, almost within my reach, but it took a moment before  I could complete the call. Corrine came up behind me and asked what was up, almost just with an inquisitive tilt of her head.  I halfway hated reading her signals because I couldn’t shake the image of her and her errant spouse leaving me out in the woods somewhere. However, I felt miles away from the clear-eyed operative that showed up at AM’s offices the week before(not only cause I’d shed my blazer and my hair was springing from its knot as though something chased it.”I’m calling for backup,” I told Corrine, trying to ignore my hammering heart. Was it okay to want brian to rescue me(maybe it was better knowing that we were really helping

“Petrosky.” His voice sounded gravelly and distant as well as more Chicago than usually. If so many Midwesterners hadn’t ended up here for their health at one point, I’d swear that I  imprinted on Tommy’s voice like a faithful duckling.  On the line, Petrosky yawned and thinking of him in bed made something flip in my stomach. “Sorry…did I wake you?”
“It’s okay…I’ve been off recuperating. My back went out the other night.” I could feel my mood plummeting, but I couldn’t handle letting Corrine see me fail.” That’s too bad<” I replied. My voice sounded too loud and bright in my own ears. I could hear the call-waiting click in on my line. I’m sure it was Tommy telling me no, so I figured we’d apologize later.Hey,” I asked Brian.   “would a road trip help? Cause we need another driver for our trip up north.”Corrine’s face was bright and eager, but still seeking gossip. I rolled my chair forward and closed the door. If I could have added in a few gathering shadows and a bewildering pile of research, it could have been one of the nights when I was in undergrad and Brian was at the academy. We took turns wanting to quit, and pulling the other one through. Maybe I wouldn’t have been so vulnerable if I’d considered how many more options someone like brian had , even abandoning his project, compared to someone like me.  I was young, though, bright, and resolutely faced forward.  “You do owe me for helping you pass the detective exam.”
“Can you believe that was five years ago?”

“No….time flies.” I tried to be cute…Cool Girl got in a horrible accident, but to my own horror, I welled up.  It really had been a lot of feelings over the last few weeks.

“You really need this, don’t you?

Unsatisfied...

 there could and should have been a wider repudiation of fascism downballot.