because I write on it when I am upset.
here's a sample....
crossed my fingers on my left hand, as I did it wondering if I could get them uncrossed. “I’ll take that under advisement.”If it came down to it, I’d pretend it was an accident that we’d gotten disconnected. Suddenly, it seemed providential that I’d gotten a discount on a van with two tiedown slots because, if I recalled correctly, its white surface held a mark that looked like a shoeprint across it(It came out after weeks of careful scrubbing, carefully attended by many of the men in my condo complex because they were fascinated by watching the lift work and the belts tying my chair back.The man that made my heart flutter the most was soon at the end of the line, almost within my reach, but it took a moment before I could complete the call. Corrine came up behind me and asked what was up, almost just with an inquisitive tilt of her head. I halfway hated reading her signals because I couldn’t shake the image of her and her errant spouse leaving me out in the woods somewhere. However, I felt miles away from the clear-eyed operative that showed up at AM’s offices the week before(not only cause I’d shed my blazer and my hair was springing from its knot as though something chased it.”I’m calling for backup,” I told Corrine, trying to ignore my hammering heart. Was it okay to want brian to rescue me(maybe it was better knowing that we were really helping
“Petrosky.” His voice sounded gravelly and distant as well
as more Chicago than usually. If so many Midwesterners hadn’t ended up here for
their health at one point, I’d swear that I
imprinted on Tommy’s voice like a faithful duckling. On the line, Petrosky yawned and thinking of
him in bed made something flip in my stomach. “Sorry…did I wake you?”
“It’s okay…I’ve been off recuperating. My back went out the other night.” I
could feel my mood plummeting, but I couldn’t handle letting Corrine see me
fail.” That’s too bad<” I replied. My voice sounded too loud and bright in
my own ears. I could hear the call-waiting click in on my line. I’m sure it was
Tommy telling me no, so I figured we’d apologize later.Hey,” I asked Brian. “would a road trip help? Cause we need
another driver for our trip up north.”Corrine’s face was bright and eager, but
still seeking gossip. I rolled my chair forward and closed the door. If I could
have added in a few gathering shadows and a bewildering pile of research, it
could have been one of the nights when I was in undergrad and Brian was at the
academy. We took turns wanting to quit, and pulling the other one through.
Maybe I wouldn’t have been so vulnerable if I’d considered how many more
options someone like brian had , even abandoning his project, compared to
someone like me. I was young, though,
bright, and resolutely faced forward.
“You do owe me for helping you pass the detective exam.”
“Can you believe that was five years ago?”
“No….time flies.” I tried to be cute…Cool Girl got in a horrible accident, but to my own horror, I welled up. It really had been a lot of feelings over the last few weeks.
“You really need this, don’t you?
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