that I kept going in the face of, maybe, self-esteem xeriscaping(Not a lot of spiritual water, sometimes, you know?) She's gone, now, so even a response to my alternate e when my cat died gets some scrutiny that it might not if she were just sitting around eating popcorn in the Bay Area. Still rejecting the hero thing, cause heroes get to win and I'm pretty sure that I don't. Not to leave another post about self-loathing in here. More to the point, I think Giving Up and Not Giving Up are much more binary for abled people.
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