Have believed in the new material I've written enough to court rejection(and spend money entering contests) instead of fearing it. Trying to consider my art more like my whipping duties, although it still does feel less personal when someone tells PDA no, rather than your Bohemian Crip. Especially if she labored for months, but being precious? Leaves me unpublished, and you know, have done that.
Frustrating reality in background, though, is that better attitude and blessed by the muses or not, more than the slight success I have, very occasionally enjoyed, may well create a problem for me at some point.
Have probably overworked this comparison slightly, but the people that administer benefits need people with disabilities to beThe Washington Generals of real life, suiting up cheerfully to get spanked on the court over and over again. So, honestly, from a bureaucratic standpoint, it would be the best of all possible worlds if feeling like a writer and being let down gently were the destination, rather than the journey, but can't quite be that Zen or model cripple enough to accept that.
In other news, the good part of being away from The Message Board that started it all was having enough to write in the year-end round-up for once.
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